An anomaly, a glitch, a bug

          Several days had passed after I got dumped. And then I made her angry for one last time and got blocked from her life. I can't see any common sense in never talking to one you dedicated 2 years of your life. It kinda makes me mad just thinking about it. In addition I have trouble pinpointing the reason behind the rage that's burning inside of my mind, every time the thought of kicking out anybody from ones life, crosses my mind. I don't know how to deal with it. Ignoring doesn't work. Thinking doesn't work. I don't even know what's the problem. It doesn't sit with me well at all. Not anyone thinking they can turn their back to their past, to another person and to the universe, and refuse to see what's in front of them. And not the reality I'm experiencing. My biggest fear - not to understand myself and the things around me. My greatest joy - sharing my thoughts and being accepted for them and everything else.
            Thinking back I have gone through a metamorphosis from disorganized and not to be relied on to a chaotic form of disorganization and I've become a tad more responsible. This insight came to me while I was failing to execute my plans for the last time I hope. While I'm not good with the obvious and unwritten rules and rules in general. I've proven to myself I do well with taking the best parts from every situation and incorporate it in me and the way I treat/see the world around me. When I say parts it is usually a combination of things which if done in the right order bring something good and make life better for the one who does them. But I suspect if someone else succeeds in taking the idea and makes it a reality his or hers intelligence must be above average. Balancing between the inner and the outer world in a way that doesn't damage the other one is not an easy task and should not be ignored. Still I really can't figure what my next step toward inner piece should be. Reaching a consensus with my ex on something has proven impossible for me. She may be empathic and sensitive to other people but for two year she understood nothing of me and I barely scratched the surface in the sense of understanding her. I know I'm not your average guy, but still am I that alien to everything human or just some people?

Opinions

I'm either very lucky or very unlucky. I'll stick with the first for now. It seems finding a girlfriend fast is a big bad thing in the eyes of most of the girls and they are not even my exes. According to my inner self it's a good thing ,not to get hung up on a melancholic thought, but continue living my time on this rock to the fullest. My mother said something like "You got over her pretty fast". I'm not really sure thats the case. I haven't been rushing anywhere. Things are just the way they are, nothing more nothing less. I feel fine so does the universe around me. We've been talking recently. I asked for a promotion. From my point of view as a main character in this love comedy I must say it is not very tempting to proceed as some girls see my life should be. Even if they are friends. They say 'That's too fast' or 'You can't decide if *insert_name_here* is right for you so soon. And i say in response 'Why not?'. Looks like i really love this answer. I'm using it in most situations in wich I have something I dislike, not as an escape method, but as a weapon to fight myself in the battle to mold myself in a better person. I consider myself a positive. That helps a bit when i start thinking 'Should I sulk now?'. I mostly accept no other opinions on how should I live my life other than my own. Lying is bad?! Screw that! I won't lie! That's the spirit! I'm not really sure which one of those two pairs should be a cornerstone in my character and thats why I'll be truth to myself and do both. Lie when needed tell the truth the rest of the time. Although this is almost the whole  badness I can get from lying and almost none of the pluses of telling the truth... maybe I'll tell only the truth. Yeah that sounds better. It may seem harsh or unpleasant to the others at first, but as soon as I start reaping the benefits of telling no lies, I will remember why am I doing that. And after all "Honesty Is the best policy." no second opinions about that.

I figure...

I get judged by the community on daily basis. It's really not my thing. Talking with me fine, judging - not fine. Why do I have to account myself for the things that I do. Things that are not against the law I mean. I'm socially awkward but so are most of the people when put with someone who they don't match up with well. I think we should be free to think and do everything we can, not confined by rules. With the exception of those involving physically or mentally harming someone (for the later only continuously). If my behavior contradicts to their beliefs that's not something for me to feel uneasy about. As far as I know I live in a free country where I can speak up my opinion whenever I want and do most of the things I come up with.

What?!

What do people actually do? They walk, they talk, they work, have fun, kids, do drugs, but is that all, don't people do something interesting too. The question of what's interesting comes to mind? If being happy isn't enough anymore? If doing whatever someone wants is not fulfilling and anything else is even worse? What can a person lost his way of living do in a situation like this?

Not really sure...

I'm not really sure what a blog is all about, but using/making one should be able to teach me. Be it a digital diary or a record of my thoughts.

Recently there aren't many new things I can experience. It's like I've seen the big things in life and now there are only small and/or complicated stuff left. Sometimes when I go out it happens to come across something new, never seen before, but it's not an everyday thing anymore. It makes me sad and a bit nostalgic about the time when i was little and everything was new and exciting. The only world left unexplored by my is the virtual one. Here any person can find what they are searching for, If their IQ is high enough. It's more challenging to find something you are not searching for. Like searching for excitement and actually find some. Google helps. A lot. Not really that much, but at least a bit. Okay, maybe 50%, I don't know...I think against every interesting thing  I've found online there are at least two more the existence of which I've learned from a friend. The web is great place and the people there are usually awesome. They are smart, slow, foreigns, aliens, fans and many other things, but there is aways a combo breaker out there to live you with a bad taste in the end of your great day... That's it for now. Cya later. (5)

Turning a neighbours wi-fi router into a repeater

I have a wi-fi router in range, it's unused and unsecured and I'm planning to turn it into a repeater if possible. It's like an empty fridge anyway so they can only gain from my plan. I get to choose which network it "repeats" so it's a win-win. I'm not really sure it is possible but I'm researching the topic. I bet there is a piece of software out there to help me achieve that or at least an article explaining why not. My only concern is I'll need physical access or being directly connected to the router. But I'm gonna try anyway. Wish me luck!

P.S. Any of you know any way to determine the physical location of a router or AP without some form of GPS?

First Topic - What should a person do when he/she doesn't know what they want?

On a 2nd thought...

I don't think anyone would be interested in a heated discussion in a blog... so maybe the first idea wasn't that bright. I'll try just reflecting my thoughts to the web and check up the feedback :) maybe if I get a webcam I could start vloging too...

So far i got "We think we're more attractive than we really are.", "People only think they know what they want." and of course "There is never enough time.". 

I'm interested in what could make a person more appealing to the others in terms of social skills and such. If we assume everyone else around us is just as us an unknown variable, what is the magic that makes some people talk more to other people and I'm certain it is not interests :D ...

Re: Let's hit it off with a short history

I had a bit of trouble naming this blog. It seems most of the cool ones out there are already taken or gay or was that that cool guys? The idea behind this waste of space is so We (meaning me, everyone who might like me (for some reason) and everyone else (possibly)) can have fun. I'll write sometimes random stuff, sometimes in response to someones comment. Lets keep it bright and enjoyable so everybody can join.