What interested me today.

The weather was nice, typical late June in Sofia, warm, a tad cloudy, a bit windy. Made me remember many other days of summer just like this one. In one of them I asked a complete stranger, a sexy girl, for her number (and she actually gave it to me. (I was as surprised she gave it to me as she was for being asked about it!)  I should go out more..), in another I was five-ten years old in the countryside and running through the fields of slightly burned by the sun grass, chasing butterflies, swimming, cycling, summer is definitely a great time (can't say anything bad about winter either).

This 'article' will be slightly different than the ones before, consciously cutting down on the questions and focusing on stuff that have happened rather than stuff that are yet to happen. Basically my introduction as a (blog)'host'.
I've always been drawn to the unknown, stuff that move, stuff I haven't 'studied' (fist hand). All that curiosity has left me with some second degree burns (and a plastic surgery) and numerous cuts, burns, bruises and what not on my left index finger. If I had the chance to go back I wouldn't undo any of them though. Those are the 'medals' I've earned from walking through life. There's a popular saying "While walking through life we leave our footprint on it" well life left it's footprint on me too.

When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you.

 Just recently a forum at which I've met some great people closed it's doors forever ((the ex) Anime World on zetaboards) I'm still slightly bitter about it.. (didn't even get a warning from the admin).
Somehow I always end up feeling bad about strange stuff.  There was also this one time when my mother brought me a keychain from her first visit to Bruksel a figure of this guy, I broke his head off by accident like the moment she gave it to me, cried like a baby, still can't forgive myself. I'm able to develop extraordinary emotional attachment on first sight, not just objects, people too. (Some might categorize this as falling in love at first sight). The result, as far as it is people, inadequate sense for emotional distance and sometimes social awkwardness. But even so I don't think of it as a bad thing. Falling in love, can't be a bad, right?

Oups, started with the questions again.. better wrap this up before it gets worse.
As long as something smells appetizing I will at least try it. I'm no particularly big on sports and even less on watching them. Didn't even know it was the football world cup year until I saw the Google logo and a 9GAG post about it...
That doesn't mean I don't like moving my body though, in fact swimming, cycling, skating, rollerblading, badminton, (sex), all great ways to move around.
Also in general games are attractive, but FPSs not so much, (a lot less to learn from them than most other games), mind games, word games, computer games, 'classic' games, puzzles, tabletop games, (adult games), all fun. The more thought have been put into making them the better, the more you have to think when playing them the more it contributes to the amount of fun you're having while playing them, chess is different though, not big on chess, zero-sum games are not that much fun without a good idea of what you wanna accomplish by winning it. Well zero-sum games do develop a certain part of the brain so in that regard they're as good as any other game too (chess is the only zero-sum game I can't enjoy to be honest, maybe I just haven't met the right opponent yet (someone who would make me want to play chess (and win (cause playing without winning is pointless (giving up without winning just as much, so if you start playing - win))))).

When thinking of how to describe the current post 'random' comes to mind. The type of random associated with human thought - pseudo-random. Today, a few days after I watched Sakusama no Pathema, I was lead into thinking about how to live without a reason to stay alive, a meaningless existence. In that regard I remembered reading something about what means to be human, according to my memories it was "To ask questions, to stumble and fall, but still stand up again, to try hard when everyone else has given up...". I might be taking it out of context or twisting it unintentionally, because I can't even remember where it's form, but assuming I've remembered it correctly, we stand up only for the meaning/reasons we've decided ourselves, pushing forward like idiots. Assuming our meaningless existence is doesn't need to have a meaning, like Agent Smith said:

Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you’re fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose...It’s pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist?

What has value, in a world where everything is the same, some atoms, grouped in a way defined as life. Emotions explainable by the math and physics invented by the same lumps of matter that have defined those emotions? Science, religion, feelings, moral values...One person, one point of view, but what's the point. Why keep pushing forward, is there something beyond the horizon that's better than what we already have? Is there something we could possibly want we can't already have? Why's survival so important? What's left if you take that out, not much, right? Everyone, having a unique view of life, yet following the same rules as everybody else. A personal truth is required to continue existing. A light to shine the path one will walk, a light to brighten up the darkness that is existence. A truth that's immutable, that is forever, and it is at least one. Living a life, on a borrowed energy we don't need to return. Continuous existence with a beginning and an end. Expending that energy as we go, leading to the end most of us are all afraid.
Assuming we're able to do anything we want, why are we not doing that? Endless potential. Are we afraid? Of responsibility? Of power? Or maybe even of ourselves? Dreams, wishes, desires, the twenty first century doesn't have many of those, they've been substituted, altered with ambitions, material possessions, building walls of money around us. Don't we want to survive to be with others? To be together? To share experiences? Well I guess not everyone does.
According to a certain group of people, the (human) language is both allowing and limiting us to think in a certain way, not being able to think in any different way, in a similar way to how you can't spend some money and use the same money again later.
Well, these are the thoughts of a man without an idea what he's talking about, what should or should not, what's right and what's wrong. Words have power, but how we use that power, the power to create happiness, to ... end this post in a way that would satisfy everyone? Naah, I don't believe such words exist, people are different, too different for some words to be able to satisfy all of them. So, I'll leave it you, the readers, to pick the right words to complete this post.